Wednesday, 11 February 2015

New Love

It's been a few weeks since the very first time i realise my feelings for that certain someone.
It's quite shocking for myself. I would've never thought to have feelings for him.
It's amazing how people can change so easily. I don't want to be like those people who goes straight into another love life after ending one.
It's despicable for me but I guess my feelings just won't listen.
It's been quite hard for me these few days after admitting to a friend about my feelings.

Sometimes, I just feel like crying. But, sometimes, I would want to show my biggest, widest smile to everyone, but mainly him.
I guess that's just what love does to people. Unstable emotions and what not.
I'm afraid of what might happen if I continue nurturing this feeling in me. I know that he has someone he likes.
I'm afraid I'll destroy my image from his point of view.

For now, I can only keep it all in and hopefully, let it die down itself.
But as days pass, I came to realise that this feeling is not decreasing any lower than it should.
It's increasing like crazy and hormones are attacking my emotions. I hate it yet, like it at the same time.

Sometimes, I would desperately want to say my feelings for him straight in his face but wouldn't dare to. Knowing the outcome, who would?
I know that, being close by is already good enough for me. Even looking at him from afar makes me smile.

His moods sometimes affects mine. When he's in a down mood, I would become down myself. When he's all happy and hyper, I would be too.

Oh how strong love is.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Suffering

How much more do i have to suffer this mental pain?
It's like everything you say to her has a pinch of affection in it.
I'm very confused.
I know, you say i think too much or i overreact too easily.
But..i don't even know if you're lying to me or not.
I just saw what you said again..though i have to i'm sorry to stalk you, but
it hurts me.
I became moody straight away after i saw those words.

Like a dagger through the heart.
):

Do you know how painful is that?
Why her?
Why....
Can i ignore you from now on?
I'll try not to give up on you..
I still have a tincy wincy bit of trust in you..
hope that little trust won't disappear.
I'm such a stubborn kid....
):

I wish she never existed.
I wish you were never this kind of person.
I wish i never thought of changing you.
I wish i never thought of wishing these things.
But...what should i do?!


Tell me.....what......I suffered for months
From the day you started talking to her.
With all those type of words...
FML!!!

I knew i shouldn't have trust in love again..
It was too much to bear. I knew it...
right from the start. I shouldn't have even think twice about accepting you into my life.
Look what happened...I think i became more down than i usually was...

I gave up on love but you gave me hope. that what i thought.
but in the end, you threw me back on the ground.

where i should've belonged.
Why did i think you gave me hope into love?
Why? Nothing ever changes...

Nothing..

even friends.
I feel like i'm just a lonely girl in this big world.
I want to be in my own world.
With people who actually cares about me.
And not give up on me when they found new people...

they don't understand...My feelings are too hard for normal people to understand.
Not even him.

But i hope God knows...

Almost all of me wanted to say it's over but there's that little light that keeps holding on to you..
Thank that little light. but if you lied to me, that little light should've let go a long time ago....


Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Been a while - Weird Dream

So, been a while sine I've blogged.
Sad? I bet not! JK

Anyways, I had the weirdest dream last night or this morning. haha.
I was like wth all the way xD it was awesome though :D I can't say out my dream or i won't ever rmb it won't happen again~ well. yeah. that's all actually.

Going to school soon (: Bye, peeps. :D

-wen-

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

10/4/13

i want my friends back
i want them
i want the sweet moments we had
i want everything to be exactly like 2011
we were all young and immature but fun-loving
i want that back
i want to be with them again
i want to go out with them again
but why
why must time separate us?
why do our minds don't think alike?
i want to see them again. 
please?

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

I feel like crap..==

Thinking about how care-free i was last time.
How i didn't post about 'that' last time.
Man i regret those posts.
But i do not regret the moments..
I still regret it -3-
but well..what is done, is done..
STUPID.

= =

Well~ 2 post in a day, happy? :D

I feel like crap..==

Thinking about how care-free i was last time.
How i didn't post about 'that' last time.
Man i regret those posts.
But i do not regret the moments..
I still regret it -3-
but well..what is done, is done..
STUPID.

= =

Well~ 2 post in a day, happy? :D

Crap

So..she went into my blog..crap...the only thing i could think of when she told me that was..
CRAP CRAP CRAP! D: dafuq.
URGH!
frustrated man.
And i didn't mean to kick her! D:
lord..
urgh..stupid natural reactions..:/
learning taekwondo has it's advantage and disadvantages = =
things can go wrong..
dammit! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! D:

can't stop thinking of what she keeps telling me! D:
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
lord, why?! ):

i hate how those things happen...):

That's the end of it.. = =

!!!