Sunday, 15 September 2013

Suffering

How much more do i have to suffer this mental pain?
It's like everything you say to her has a pinch of affection in it.
I'm very confused.
I know, you say i think too much or i overreact too easily.
But..i don't even know if you're lying to me or not.
I just saw what you said again..though i have to i'm sorry to stalk you, but
it hurts me.
I became moody straight away after i saw those words.

Like a dagger through the heart.
):

Do you know how painful is that?
Why her?
Why....
Can i ignore you from now on?
I'll try not to give up on you..
I still have a tincy wincy bit of trust in you..
hope that little trust won't disappear.
I'm such a stubborn kid....
):

I wish she never existed.
I wish you were never this kind of person.
I wish i never thought of changing you.
I wish i never thought of wishing these things.
But...what should i do?!


Tell me.....what......I suffered for months
From the day you started talking to her.
With all those type of words...
FML!!!

I knew i shouldn't have trust in love again..
It was too much to bear. I knew it...
right from the start. I shouldn't have even think twice about accepting you into my life.
Look what happened...I think i became more down than i usually was...

I gave up on love but you gave me hope. that what i thought.
but in the end, you threw me back on the ground.

where i should've belonged.
Why did i think you gave me hope into love?
Why? Nothing ever changes...

Nothing..

even friends.
I feel like i'm just a lonely girl in this big world.
I want to be in my own world.
With people who actually cares about me.
And not give up on me when they found new people...

they don't understand...My feelings are too hard for normal people to understand.
Not even him.

But i hope God knows...

Almost all of me wanted to say it's over but there's that little light that keeps holding on to you..
Thank that little light. but if you lied to me, that little light should've let go a long time ago....


Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Been a while - Weird Dream

So, been a while sine I've blogged.
Sad? I bet not! JK

Anyways, I had the weirdest dream last night or this morning. haha.
I was like wth all the way xD it was awesome though :D I can't say out my dream or i won't ever rmb it won't happen again~ well. yeah. that's all actually.

Going to school soon (: Bye, peeps. :D

-wen-

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

10/4/13

i want my friends back
i want them
i want the sweet moments we had
i want everything to be exactly like 2011
we were all young and immature but fun-loving
i want that back
i want to be with them again
i want to go out with them again
but why
why must time separate us?
why do our minds don't think alike?
i want to see them again. 
please?

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

I feel like crap..==

Thinking about how care-free i was last time.
How i didn't post about 'that' last time.
Man i regret those posts.
But i do not regret the moments..
I still regret it -3-
but well..what is done, is done..
STUPID.

= =

Well~ 2 post in a day, happy? :D

I feel like crap..==

Thinking about how care-free i was last time.
How i didn't post about 'that' last time.
Man i regret those posts.
But i do not regret the moments..
I still regret it -3-
but well..what is done, is done..
STUPID.

= =

Well~ 2 post in a day, happy? :D

Crap

So..she went into my blog..crap...the only thing i could think of when she told me that was..
CRAP CRAP CRAP! D: dafuq.
URGH!
frustrated man.
And i didn't mean to kick her! D:
lord..
urgh..stupid natural reactions..:/
learning taekwondo has it's advantage and disadvantages = =
things can go wrong..
dammit! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! D:

can't stop thinking of what she keeps telling me! D:
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!
lord, why?! ):

i hate how those things happen...):

That's the end of it.. = =

!!!

Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Stress

Well, I'm not sure how long since the night i've shed tears. .
It's probably been so long cuz I feel super stressed.
About NOTHING! D:
I wanna cry out but it's afternoon....people will see..and ask...so i always wait till night ):
Putting all sad, stress, angry feelings in me and just letting it out at night!
I wish...my mum could just accept him and i want him here...with me ):
I wish to just go to bed now and skip dinner, skip the movie, skip everything and cry...
Cry and cry and cry and cry..till my heart's content....my poor heart. can't take much of this.

Plus, because of all this, i didn't have the confidence to shoot during training..causing me to not release the freaking arrow!!!
URGH! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
Last time i couldn't click, now i couldn't release! FISHSTICKS!

-sigh-

;-;

-lyw- -wen-

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Archery Demo and BSMM Meeting

Hey,
Today is our school's Archery Demo from King's Archery.
And because of that, i had to skip lunch.
I carried target butts and target stands with my friends
All my energy was gone.
We sweated a lot.
Plus, i had to shoot again.
Just to demonstrate to the students on how we shoot.
I had to talk and teach the students..
I guess now i know how it feels to be like this..
For the archers last year..:/

After that, BSMM meeting/training.
We learnt around 12 type of bandages again~
I've totally forgotten all of it till just now.
But..some time during they talk..i'll just stare out the window and look down stairs.
Thinking of a neutral life.
Then, i would get sad.
Tears wanted to fall from my eyes but i didn't let them.
Crying in public is never fine.
Right now. the feeling of crying is still there in me.
I do not know how i can stop this..
Maybe i'm too tired.
Resulting my stress and my emotions to grow bad..
Damn.
why must the demo be on the same day as the BSMM?! ):
my life just can't be any fairer isn't it?

TT.TT

I wish he could've just sat down beside me and just stay. i don't care if people want to find him
They just have to walk to him then.
But no, that couldn't happen..never.
Because i do not speak out!
i'm always alone in my own world.
not this world but another.
alone. staring into space. spacing out..blank...
i can never feel loved.
never seen
never known by others.
never.....

wishing my life.................forget it...

-lyw-