Stress

Well, I'm not sure how long since the night i've shed tears. .
It's probably been so long cuz I feel super stressed.
About NOTHING! D:
I wanna cry out but it's afternoon....people will see..and ask...so i always wait till night ):
Putting all sad, stress, angry feelings in me and just letting it out at night!
I wish...my mum could just accept him and i want him here...with me ):
I wish to just go to bed now and skip dinner, skip the movie, skip everything and cry...
Cry and cry and cry and cry..till my heart's content....my poor heart. can't take much of this.

Plus, because of all this, i didn't have the confidence to shoot during training..causing me to not release the freaking arrow!!!
URGH! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
Last time i couldn't click, now i couldn't release! FISHSTICKS!

-sigh-

;-;

-lyw- -wen-

Archery Demo and BSMM Meeting

Hey,
Today is our school's Archery Demo from King's Archery.
And because of that, i had to skip lunch.
I carried target butts and target stands with my friends
All my energy was gone.
We sweated a lot.
Plus, i had to shoot again.
Just to demonstrate to the students on how we shoot.
I had to talk and teach the students..
I guess now i know how it feels to be like this..
For the archers last year..:/

After that, BSMM meeting/training.
We learnt around 12 type of bandages again~
I've totally forgotten all of it till just now.
But..some time during they talk..i'll just stare out the window and look down stairs.
Thinking of a neutral life.
Then, i would get sad.
Tears wanted to fall from my eyes but i didn't let them.
Crying in public is never fine.
Right now. the feeling of crying is still there in me.
I do not know how i can stop this..
Maybe i'm too tired.
Resulting my stress and my emotions to grow bad..
Damn.
why must the demo be on the same day as the BSMM?! ):
my life just can't be any fairer isn't it?

TT.TT

I wish he could've just sat down beside me and just stay. i don't care if people want to find him
They just have to walk to him then.
But no, that couldn't happen..never.
Because i do not speak out!
i'm always alone in my own world.
not this world but another.
alone. staring into space. spacing out..blank...
i can never feel loved.
never seen
never known by others.
never.....

wishing my life.................forget it...

-lyw-