Stress

Well, I'm not sure how long since the night i've shed tears. .
It's probably been so long cuz I feel super stressed.
About NOTHING! D:
I wanna cry out but it's afternoon....people will see..and ask...so i always wait till night ):
Putting all sad, stress, angry feelings in me and just letting it out at night!
I wish...my mum could just accept him and i want him here...with me ):
I wish to just go to bed now and skip dinner, skip the movie, skip everything and cry...
Cry and cry and cry and cry..till my heart's content....my poor heart. can't take much of this.

Plus, because of all this, i didn't have the confidence to shoot during training..causing me to not release the freaking arrow!!!
URGH! I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!
Last time i couldn't click, now i couldn't release! FISHSTICKS!

-sigh-

;-;

-lyw- -wen-

Archery Demo and BSMM Meeting

Hey,
Today is our school's Archery Demo from King's Archery.
And because of that, i had to skip lunch.
I carried target butts and target stands with my friends
All my energy was gone.
We sweated a lot.
Plus, i had to shoot again.
Just to demonstrate to the students on how we shoot.
I had to talk and teach the students..
I guess now i know how it feels to be like this..
For the archers last year..:/

After that, BSMM meeting/training.
We learnt around 12 type of bandages again~
I've totally forgotten all of it till just now.
But..some time during they talk..i'll just stare out the window and look down stairs.
Thinking of a neutral life.
Then, i would get sad.
Tears wanted to fall from my eyes but i didn't let them.
Crying in public is never fine.
Right now. the feeling of crying is still there in me.
I do not know how i can stop this..
Maybe i'm too tired.
Resulting my stress and my emotions to grow bad..
Damn.
why must the demo be on the same day as the BSMM?! ):
my life just can't be any fairer isn't it?

TT.TT

I wish he could've just sat down beside me and just stay. i don't care if people want to find him
They just have to walk to him then.
But no, that couldn't happen..never.
Because i do not speak out!
i'm always alone in my own world.
not this world but another.
alone. staring into space. spacing out..blank...
i can never feel loved.
never seen
never known by others.
never.....

wishing my life.................forget it...

-lyw-

Hey, Christmas Eve!

Hello!
So, as you all know, it's Christmas Eve! :D
In Asia, that is. (:
Well, i hope everyone out there is having a good time
With family and friends whom you could enjoy the day/night with (:

As for my C.E (Christmas Eve) morning,
I woke up at exactly 6 a.m.
Pretty early, isn't it? xD
Plus, i slept at 12 a.m. Meaning I only had 6 hours of sleep.
Which wasn't enough for me! @.@
But i still survived the day (:

C.E afternoon,
Almost 2 p.m, Vanessa came to pick me up to go to Merdeka Mall.
Even though my limbs' are broken, i just want to get out of the house.
I'm getting bored in here ):
I wasn't thinking of training but i just went with it. Since Conny told me that
Coach ricky wanted me to train ):
I actually just wanted to use the dumbbell until the whole training lesson is over.
After training and all, some of us went down together to get something to eat.
I bought myself a waffle with peanut butter fillings (:
My all time favourite flavor :D

C.E evening,
Me and vanessa went back at around 630, maybe
The first thing i said to my maid when i got home is..
"I want instant noodles!" xD
I was really damn hungry that time :/
After eating and all, I went into my room.
And now, BLOGGING about it (:

This was how i "celebrated" my C.E.
Not that interesting, right? I know..
Tmr. I hope i get to see him though.
Although i'm spending that day with Vanessa again,
I just really hope to see him again.
It's been a while since..
but my love for him has not changed :B
Anyways, yea..
Going to watch CZ12 with her tmr.
It's a movie. quite interesting i guess :D

That's all from me.
Wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! :D

xoxo

-wen-

December

Well, hey, it's already December.
Surprise?
Time sure flies by fast, as i'd said, right? :D
I really really can't wait till school reopens and go through the Orientation Programme.
I'm really excited to see new faces coming into our school. SMK Saint Columba!
I hope that the students will learn to cooperate with us as we may be a little stressed
because of their attitude sometimes.
I hope those spoiled kids can learn to be better at things.

On 31st of December, we're going back to school to register for 2013.
I really can't wait for that either.
I might get a chance to see HIM again on that day (:
Well, it's not like we can't see each other before that xD
Anyways, our classes for next year haven't came out.
So, we got to wait for that..
It may take a long time though.

Alright. So, most people keep saying on the 21st of December,
It'll be the end of the world?
Is that true?
I do not know, do you?
Well, we just gotta wait and see, right?
But i really hope it won't happen.
I still want to live till I graduate and go to Uni and other future plans.
Will all that be taken away from me?
Will HE be taken from me?
I don't want that.
No.
So, i gotta think positive. -what he always tells me- (:
It's nice to have him around to give the world some sense into it again.

Other than that,
There's the Miri Close competition that's coming soon.
Only 3 more days.
And i only have one more training till that comes.
Not enough time.
Paying RM 50 for that competition.
Don't you guys think it's quite expensive?
Well, if you lose, than all that money will be wasted.
But I can't get my sight.
And, i can't see the freaking target face with my stabiliser blocking it! ):
Well, i guess my RM 50 would be of waste.
Damn.
I don't know what to do. I seriously don't want to waste my dad's money anymore..
Not like this.
If only that David understands my situation.
If he was me, i bet he wouldn't want to join the competition either
Because of the money problem :/
NVM.
Not that people actually liked him..
I don't know..
I'm confused..
I'm tired..
I'm restless..
I'm feeling like crying..
I'm gonna die..

I hope HE JUST UNDERSTANDS!

Urgh. No point for all this shit anymore.

URGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! );

I wish he was here...I wish i can just mute the world for just a few minutes...

I'd be as happy as i could ever be...please...

---

CRISIS HERE!

woo...yesterday was..like a...awkward day.
my senior and my best friend fought, i think
and she wanted to break up with him..
he came and find me to ask whether i can help him.
he said he needed her. no matter what.
he said he wants her back by his side.
i was quite..shocked that'll it come this far.
i just hope she chose wisely.
i hope it's her right choice.
cuz i know she still loves him.
i don't think she'll give up on that just yet.
not until....i don't know...something tragic that happens?
well...now. both are probably not around.
i don't know how they are now..
she doesn't seem to be that happy
so i guess they haven't gone back together..
i really don't like this.
serious love CRISIS here :/
damn.
i hate solving cases like this.
it makes me more stressed than i am. :/
i hope they just get back together to make everything better
and back to how it was supposed to be.
i just wish that he wasn't so jealous and would trust for once
as in really trusting her.
actually a little jealousy in a relationship is OKAY
but if you're too over. it'll be come a disaster!
he needs to control that jealousy of his to a minimum >:(
no more loads of crappy fights.
we all have friends.
we all have mixed gender buddies.
is it wrong to talk to our opposite sex friends?
what is so wrong?
maybe that person is like a brother or sister to one another.
so don't be JEALOUS!
no use!
it'll only cause more fights than ever!
I HOPE THEY ALL UNDERSTAND!
dammit. ==
live a little. would ya?

-wen-

Moody

When I woke up this morning, I already felt something strange.
I just didn't what it was..
I went on facebook right after waking up.
Around 10, i went to bath.
Then at that time, i realised i haven't eaten my breakfast.
There isn't enough time to make the instant noodles
So i took a packet of biscuits and ate it.
At least that helped my hunger for a while.

Then at around 11, i went to school.
Before that, my mum had to go to the gas station and send some stuff to her friend or something.
I arrived at school at around 11:20++
HIS exam already ended at that time.
So i waited for him.
When he walked pass me, I didn't notice he was there until i turned around again.
He didn't bother to greet me..but i ignored that..
Maybe it's because he saw me with a group of people so he didn't dare to come forward
OR he could just be rushing..or something..I felt sad and angry...of myself.
I don't know why. I just feel like I wanna break something.
Then we had our PSV Paper 2 examination. I drew some geometry stuffs.
It looked pretty good to me.
Then, i went down with Jia Hui to wash our cups and pallets.
Then, i saw him and he saw me.
I think he smiled at me or something but i don't know...
I put on a sour face all the way upstairs to our exam classroom..
I felt bad, sad, moody and i felt like crying just seeing him...

I wonder what happened?!
Is it something that i've done?!

then i'm sorry if it is ):

Man...I'm so messed up today...didn't even eat lunch too..only the same packet of biscuits that i brought to school ):

Dang man...dang..


I'M DAMN MOODY TODAY!!!!!!!!!!

-wen-

Exams!!

Well,
Today, we start our 2nd semester examination.
Going to have it for 2 weeks straight but only 7 days going to school.
Since we're having the exams in the afternoon, i can relax in the morning.
But the thing is,
I won't get to see my dear at school.
Since he's going for morning session..
That's pretty unlucky.
):

Why must the school be so unfair to us..
Dang..
But never mind.
I may be able to see him later since I'm going to school at 10 am (:
I want to hear him say "I LOVE YOU!" :D hahahaha
He promised anyways -w-
Well, wish me luck,
peoples! <3

If you do, I'll wish you all luck too! If i know you guys -w-

Buh bye!

-wen-